I discovered something powerful sitting across coffee tables from other business owners.

The conversations where I talked the least were the ones people valued most. They’d leave saying “I got so much out of this” or “this was a great time.”

I wasn’t giving them answers. I was asking them questions.

The Authority Paradox

Early in my career, I’d sit in rooms with so-called experts who dominated every conversation. They name-dropped achievements and made everything about themselves.

Here’s what I noticed. Nobody was actually listening.

People would nod politely, then roll their eyes the moment these guys left. Meanwhile, I had a friend who never bragged about his wins. He’d ask questions, really listen, then give insights that completely shifted how you thought about your business.

People hung on his every word because he made them feel heard first.

That’s when it clicked. Real authority doesn’t need to announce itself. When you’re constantly telling people how great you are, you’re admitting you’re insecure about your actual value.

Questions Reveal More Than Answers

With good questions, you can make people solve their own problems. You make them think instead of just giving them solutions.

A client came to me frustrated because his marketing wasn’t working. He kept saying “I need better ads, I need better copy, I need more traffic.”

Instead of jumping in with solutions, I asked him “What happens after someone clicks on your ad?”

He explained they go to a landing page. Then I asked “What happens next?” They request a quote, he said.

I asked… “Where do they do that?”

He realized the request quote button was nowhere to be found on that page it was hidden somewhere in the menu.

Then I asked more questions. What happens when they do fill out quotes? What are common objections? Price? How do you handle price objections? What if the problem isn’t price but value proposition?

You can tell by the quality of questions how much someone knows. People feel edified from the conversation rather than sold to. They’re proud of themselves because they partly came to the conclusion with you.

Let Others Prove Your Worth

What you lack in substance you need to make up with words.

The people who talk the most are often compensating for having the least to offer. So how do you demonstrate substance without falling into that trap?

Don’t shout, prove and lead the way.

Let your customers rave about you, then turn that into authority content. Podcasts have become powerful because someone gives you their platform and asks you questions. That’s third-party validation of your authority.

Customers rave about great products and services. Build a great delivery model where your customers get the result they’re looking for.

Authentic authority isn’t a marketing strategy. It’s a byproduct of actually delivering results.

The Biblical Foundation

This principle runs deeper than business tactics. Scripture says “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”

The greatest leaders in history didn’t build influence by shouting about themselves. They built it by serving others so well that people naturally looked to them for guidance.

True authority is quiet confidence backed by results that speak for themselves.

On one side you have someone filling you with information trying to prove their authority. On the other side you have someone guiding you through a thought-led conversation where you actually need to think.

People describe the second approach as a fresh breeze.

Authority exists in the space between people. It gets granted by those being led rather than claimed by those seeking to lead.

Stop announcing your expertise. Start asking better questions. Let your customers do the talking. Build something worth talking about.

Real authority whispers while fake authority shouts.